Hello, my friends and fellow garden lovers! Have the colors been vibrant and full in your corner of the world? We have been blessed with beautiful, rich colors this season. The beech tree in our garden is deep orange and gold. Love it!
I love this time of year. Even though November is most often rainy, grey, and cold, it still has its own ambience. It is the time that we have no more room to doubt that summer is indeed over. In October, you can still have an occasionally warm sunny day, laced with freshness in the air. You know it’s not summer, but…maybe we’ll have a warmer Autumn…A little milder. Nope. November tends to seal the deal. It is what it is, so let’s find a little light to this dark half of the seasonal wheel.
My latest video highlighted our little elder tree growing in our garden. I felt like continuing that conversation a bit more. I mentioned the lessons of endings and beginnings that the elder has symbolized through the eyes of the ancient world. And throughout Europe, it was either believed to be used for witchcraft, and associated with sorcery, magic, and death. Or, it was associated with beauty and innocence, regeneration, grace, and turning something painful into something healing and restorative. Seemingly opposing views of the same tree, yet both reveal an overall message: No one stays forever young. Life is in constant change. All is connected. Darkness is connected to Light, and Life is connected to Death, etc.
The elder “bookends” summer. In the early summer, there are bright white clusters of elder flowers that spread across the landscape. They signal a time of newness and the innocence of youth. At the end of summer, these flowers have turned into purple or black berries. Here, innocence has matured and gained wisdom. The berries are the medicine that this wisdom has created, metaphorically speaking. But think about how much nutrition and immune-boosting power that is in elderberries! And it’s that “wisdom” that is there to strengthen and protect us during the coming winter season.
The associations with this tree and the Elder Woman, or Grandmother, made me think of my two grandmothers and how completely opposite they were. Granny Mary was a tomboy, outdoorsy, hard as nails, and Granny Lorene was sophisticated, feminine, cultured. They had different personalities, style of dress, you name it! It was through this extreme contradiction that, growing up, I was given two completely different grandmother experiences and lessons. Granny Mary taught me lessons more about survival with my hands; churn your own butter, chop your own wood, and protect yourself. Granny Lorene taught me about finding something in life to be passionate about. Follow a dream! Oh, and dress for success!
Although their individual experiences and personalities were as different as summer and winter, their message was always the same. Listen and learn. Listen because” we’ve been there” …” we have learned the hard way”. Listen because” we love you and do not want you to suffer”. BUT our grandmothers know that suffering is sometimes the only way for us to learn certain lessons. My Granny Lorene would say every wrinkle was a feeling that stayed a long enough time to make an imprint. She was grateful that most of them were smiles that stayed a long time. But some were from pain and worry, nights awake praying for her family. My grandmothers understood that to take the good in life, we must also take the bad. That is life at its most basic understanding. That is why the collective experiences of our Elders can act as a protective shield during a crisis or challenge. We learn from the past. At least, we hope.
November is a month of reflection on what has passed. It is full of memory. We are still talking about what we did this past summer! The talk around the house might be, “wow, this year flew by,” or maybe “Man, I am so glad this year is almost over”. Whatever the case, we are in the “in-between” of the boundaries of past and future. We have All Saints’ Day, where we remember our ancestors and loved ones no longer with us. All brought to life again through memory. Thanksgiving, again a season of remembering, reflecting and being thankful. All this before the New Year of brand-new possibilities.
However, November resonates with you, I think we can all agree it is when we begin that retreat into the warmth of home. We transform the hamburgers on the grill of summer cookouts into gathering with family around a table with printed fallen leaves and the thick aroma of apples and pumpkin spice in the air. Bonus when there is a fireplace!
May this month call us to connect with what is most sacred and soulful about our relationships, our family connections, and the ones that have come and gone before us.